Skip to content
‘‘Twas the Night Before Dankmas
Twas the night before Dankmas and all through the house every house guest was stoned. Even the mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the Kandy Boy soon would be there.
Our stoned friends were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of dank nugs danced in their heads;
As her gummies kicked in, I ran out of my stash ,
My only wish was my order'd come fast.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tripped over my bong and and broke that new glass.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Tonight even Florida feels 20 below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
The UPS Truck, with a big gummy bear,
With a little old driver, that delivered so quick,
I knew something was up. Was he playing a trick?
He skidded and swerved as he left down my lane,
And he laughed, as he shouted, and called them by name;
"Sherbet! King Sherbet! And Ice Cream Cake Too!
Blue Raspberry and Strawberry! and, Sour Apple Waaahoooo!
Walked back in my house! And I knew what I saw.
He just gave me a Bear! And took off with it all"
As bad thoughts sink in, before I start to cry,
I remembered 2 hour delivery on the truck, from the guy.
I downloaded the app and placed my order real quick,
Gummies and Flower and Chips and a Drink
Then was a shout I heard from a Far, It's Willie and Snoop Dogg outside in a car.I thought "yes this is awesome" I was totally down.
Willie fired up a fat boy and passed it around.
Snoop was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe,
We smoked blunts the size of small children, 7 blunts in a row;
A bundle of buds he had flung on his back,
Just praying that snoop would front me this pack.
His eyes -- were so red! as he started to laugh!
I knew what that meant , and retch for my cash!
As he pulled out a bag with chips and a drink.
"It's your order from Kandy Boy what did you think?"
The blunt he just rolled held tight in his teeth,
Blue and Reds flash the mirror, oh shit it's the police;
"Calm the F**k down" he said with a grin ,
The cop hit the blunt then we let her in.
Wait you're too hot, you’re not really a cop. As I looked at the tag from the Halloween Shop
Needless to say we baked all thru the night.
We smoked “UPS driver” the strain of the night.